I lost a good friend yesterday, to cancer. I hate that word. It took a great friend, an amazing husband, a brilliant musician, and a proud dad. It took Terrin.
Terrin Durfey was the kind of guy that everyone likes. He was the most positive, fun-loving, silly, and compassionate guy I had ever met. And the most amazing thing of all, he did not let cancer slow down his life. He lived his life to the fullest, with hope, until the end.
Terrin was diagnosed with stage 5 cancer last year, after battling it off and on for 10 years. The diagnosis did not stop him from joining the band Pinback last summer. He toured all last year, enjoying every last drop of his life. He scheduled treatments around the tour, and lived his dream. Cancer was not going to slow him down.
He has always been an inspiration to me. We were roommates for a year, while he dated (and eventually married) my best friend Adrienne. He always encouraged me to pursue my dreams (photography) and to “get out there and do it.” He was such an accomplished musician (check out The Jade Shader and Boilermaker) and artist, and I have always looked up to him. He never let ANYTHING get in his way. Not fear, not uncertainty, NOT cancer.
Adrienne has been taking care of him for the last year, selflessly. She is amazing! She has always put everyone before herself. She is now a single mother of the cutest kid in the world (Dakota), and I know she will survive this.
If you want to help Adrienne and Dakota get on their feet, there is a place where you can donate money. She has not been able to work for the past couple months, and the cost of the medical bills are pilling up. Go HERE to donate. You can also go HERE or HERE or HERE to read a little more about Terrin.
Yesterday, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt helpless sitting here in the PNW, while Adrienne sat in San Diego filled with grief. Casey finally convinced me to get out of the house. We took some photographs in honor of Terrin. He would have like that.
I went to a deep place while I photographed yesterday. I did a little soul searching and thought about my time with Terrin and Adrienne. It seems so long ago (about 9 years) but the memories are fresh in my mind. The loss of this young life is tragic, but he wouldn’t want you to feel that way. He would have wanted you to simply live your life to the fullest, which is what I intend to do.
So please, in honor of Terrin, live your life, do not hold back, and if something gets in your way, trample over it!
Here is a Terrin, Adrienne, + Dakota montage (photos from myspace)… and the photos I took yesterday.
claire - kim, the photos you took are so full of emotion; they’re amazing.
and terrin sounds amazing, too.
Gina - Kim- Sorry to hear about your friend. He looked like such an amazing person. Thanks for sharing his inspriration with us.
Heather - I’m so sorry Kim. Terrin sounds like a really great guy and the tribute you wrote to him is beautiful. Your pictures are amazing too. I’m sure he would have really appreciated it.
Michelle Rasmussen - I found your site through a comment you left on my friend Casia’s blog and I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for your loss and that the pictures you took for him are full of emotion and beauty. Take Care. ~Michelle
sean - sorry to hear the sad news
Jess - Hi Kim! Hope you are holding up well, I know you were having a tough time the last week or so. My thoughts are with Terrin and his family.
kayla - kim, i am so so sorry. Let me know if you need anything!! I mean it…anything
Rj - I found Boilermaker’s music at an impressionable time in my life in the mid 90s. Terrin’s voice and lyrics spoke to me. He was always there for me.
Today for some unknown reason I woke up and just needed to hear his voice again and know that it will all be okay. I put on some Boilermaker and made some coffee. I miss him. “Turn my face away from the sun. It doesn’t take long to burn.”
Adrienne Durfey - Kim!! What beautiful words about Terrin! How did I not know about this until now..I love you so much Kim. I would love to show this to his mom if that’s ok with you..